There are lots of ways that we porn reviewers pick the movies that we watch. Sure, sometimes there are big releases that need to be promoted, so we give them a look, but usually our choices come from browsing the site and taking a gander at some of the movies that seem exciting. It could be the title that titillates us, or possibly the stars that catch our eyes… and every once in a while, we get sucked in by the screen caps, which is what happened today with Rated Sex.
While the box cover is what initially drew me into Rated Sex, it is most definitely the screen caps that kept my attention. A few screen caps in particular. Can you guess which ones I’m referring to? Oh yeah, I’m talking about scene two, which features a penis with a face wearing a hat, talking to a vulva with a face. Pretty creepy/amazing, right? I know from the moment I saw it that I needed to know more, hence the review.
As it turns out, this flick is more a collection of trailers rather than a full movie. Hosted by award-winning critics, Merle Smith (John Alderman) and Jan Kennet (Honey Wilder), we go clip by clip, checking out seven of the “hot new dirty movies” that the ‘80s had to offer.
As excited as the rest of this move is (it is pretty hot), it’s really scene two that I came to watch. I mean seriously – it’s a dick with a face and a hat. How could I possibly resist? It’s called PeePee’s Big Adventure, and from the first moment it’s the creepiest/most awesome scene ever. There is this strange music and a wiener with a falsetto voice. Oh, and a dick with a face and a hat… did I mention that?
This personified cock has lost his “warm spot,” which is clearly his lovely vaginal friend. You know, the one with the big face drawn on its labia. Finally he finds her and they embrace while PeePee heads into his warm spot, even though Mr. Finger tries to stop him. After thrusting for a few minutes, both partners get excited and PeePee begins to climax, so Mr. Finger comes back and chokes him until he explodes cum all over the place.
Though it’s nothing that I want to get hot over, I still really liked this scene. I agree with the critics about getting caught up in the plot a little (if you can call five minutes of a puppet penis waving around a “plot”) and enjoying it even without seeing the actors’ faces.
And lucky for you, I have a little clip so you can experience the magic as well.
Amazing, right?
Watch “Rated Sex” Now!
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